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Confidence Lagging Behind Accomplishment: The Mystery Unraveled
Teasing out answers to missing confidence and misplaced hopes
I recently stumbled across something in the research literature that threw me into a loop: Past accomplishments boost your confidence. No surprise there, but how come that didn’t happen to me?
My early decisions around improving my weight, stamina, and other personal habits were fraught with a combination of hope and laziness. Stopping smoking was a huge battle; it had all the false starts and stops, borrowing cigarettes from others, cutting back. Nothing worked.
Weight loss was worse because it took so long. Resolutions were delayed and ignored until I finally got impatient and more than a little frustrated with the sacrifices.
Sobriety only happened because a medical crisis scared me straight.
Finally, I found the strength to prevail in these three personal changes. Unhappily, after winning the battles, my self-confidence was untouched.
I thought I was on top of things. Over time, I kicked smoking, ditched the booze, and shed a good chunk of weight. These were solid achievements.
I recall the day I hit my goal weight. It took about ten years, but I finally shed fifty pounds. I was ecstatic. I felt more than a smidgen of…