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Nurturing Self-Worth: A Present-Oriented Perspective to Overcome Bypassing
Finding our most profound desires by assessing feelings
We often see narratives about achievement, success, and personal worth. From an early age, we encounter messages that suggest our best choice is to measure ourselves against external signs of excellence, such as medals, rewards, or income bonuses.
As someone who has walked this path, I understand how personal achievements, while meaningful, don’t always translate to successful outcomes.
Bypassing
This can happen through a process called ‘bypassing’ in psychology. Our actions can unfold in ways that bypass our conscious deliberations and decisions.
This is what happened to my friend Sarah. Sarah had firmly decided this year to lose weight. She resolved to stop stress eating.
She set up a detailed meal plan, cleared all junk food from her house, and felt utterly committed to her goal. Her conscious intention was clear.
Then, her company announced unexpected layoffs. While Sarah kept her job, three of her closest colleagues were let go.
She found herself taking on their workload and staying late at the office. One evening, exhausted and overwhelmed, she passed by a vending machine…